The Ugly Duckling

One of my biggest challenges as a child was overcoming my looks. I was teased almost my entire childhood until I started getting into my later high school years. As a child I was extremely thin and couldn't fill out my body. I was called "that Ethiopian chick". I had such a difficult time gaining weight that Poison (stepmom) tried to fatten me up by making me drink Ensure after each full course meal. She would make me eat so much that I would puke up my Ensure drink afterwards. It was disgusting. To this day, meal replacements and protein shakes are difficult to drink.

I also inherited some huge crooked teeth which earned me the name "beaver", "bucktooth", "rabbit", etc. My father even called me his ugly ducking. It sounds enduring and insulting at the same time. When I was in sixth grade I got braces on until freshman year of high school. My teeth came out so straight! I was so proud, until junior year when my teeth started turning inward again. I went to see another orthodontist who said I had too many teeth. They had four teeth in the front of my mouth removed. I went to church that night with gauze in my open spaces. I had to have braces put back on again until my freshman year of college.

When I was a young child I woke up one morning to my left eye crossed inward. That day my vision was very blurry. I didn't know what caused it, but when my dad picked me up from my mom he was very upset and thought she let something happen to me. My father started taking me to many eye appointments trying to figure out what had caused my eye to cross inward and how to fix it. They tried many things like giving me glasses, even though I saw perfectly fine. I had 20/20 vision at the time. They tried making me wear patches over my right eye to make the left stronger. I was made fun of often for my crossed eye, but I tried to make humor out of it. I could do a trick with it where I could straighten the left eye and cross the right one for a minute to make it jump back and forth. It would stun the other children. We finally found a specialist in Loma Linda who said I had strabismus. My first surgery was scheduled. After the healing took place I couldn't wait to open both eyes and see how they looked! My eyes had been crossed for quite a few years. I was so excited! They looked amazing! The kids at school even started treating me different. The muscle was still weak in my left eye so I needed a follow up surgery when I was fourteen.

As I got older I started gaining more weight and filling up a little more. Now I'm real nice and plump after having a baby...haha. My teeth were straightened out and my eyes were fixed as well. I sure had a heck of a time with my looks growing up. I don't tell these stories for people to feel sorry for me. I tell them so one can see where I have come from and know that anything is possible. I was made fun of so much that it has taken time to regain my self-esteem. Sometimes I am even surprised by the handsome man I married. A guy like him would've never looked at me twice as a child. People didn't see my soul. They saw my looks. Boys didn't even want to sit next to me on the bus to school. It is difficult not to judge others based on what we see, but I will now make a special effort to see the souls of others because our looks can change and they do not reflect our true beauty.