The Labor and Delivery of Leia Jasmine Davison Part 1

On July 2nd, 2014, I went to my 39 week appointment to check on Leia and hoping I was dilated more. I wasn't. Nothing had changed since the week before and I felt the disappoint. I was being impatient as any new mom would be to meet the love of her life. One of my goals for my first pregnancy was to not be induced. After that 39 week appointment I started trying to go into labor naturally. I thought if I start now then by next week she will be ready. Little did I know what was to come. That same day my husband and I took a VERY long walk on the  beach. Earlier that day I also used my breast pump, but the moment I saw milk coming out I stopped and kind of freaked out. After our walk that day my back started hurting really bad. I didn't do the dishes or cook. My husband gave me a great massage but nothing was helping this pain. I had been having Braxton-Hicks contractions, so I decided until I was in great pain to stay put. I didn't want to go 30 minutes away to our hospital and be turned away. So I tried sleeping that night, but kept waking up in pain until two in the morning when the contractions became very strong...about three minutes apart. I saw blood and couldn't leave the toilet because I started have diarrhea. I was yelling at my husband that I think I waited too long. My husband, calm as ever, jumps out of bed, throws some clothes on and throws everything in the car. I knew I had to get in the car but I was really worried about bathroom issues so I brought toilet paper and a bag...just in case...haha. Thankfully I didn't need them. I was in immense pain. There are no words that can explain contractions. I had underestimated them thinking I could overcome the pain with mere thoughts. What a laugh! I look back and I was so naive. I was screaming in pain the whole drive as my husband drove 90 miles per hour to the hospital (I'm not exaggerating). When we got there I could barely walk. I had to keep stopping when I would have a contraction. Finally they had a nurse asses me. At the time I was 100% thinned out and only 2-3 centimeters dilated. I had to wait an hour to see if I was dilating more in order for them to admit me. I had all these ideas during my pregnancy of the different positions I would use for pain management. I couldn't do any of them! I would have a contraction every time I moved so I didn't want to move. I thought I was going to deliver in squatting position....that was a hoot. I stayed flat on my back the whole time! That felt good to me! It makes me laugh now. I was admitted the next hour at 4 centimeters. Suddenly everything started moving so fast. I was taken to my room and my water broke when I was in the restroom. I was shocked with what came out of me! Every time I moved more would gush out. I went and sat in my bed hoping the anesthesiologist would arrive soon. I actually wasn't planning on getting an epidural. Ya.... that went out the window when I started feeling unbearable pain. I am really glad I did get it. I was able to enjoy my labor. I was cracking jokes I was so giddy. My mother finally arrived. I was only going to have my husband and mother in the delivery room. Things progressed very quickly. By 1:00 pm I was fully dilated....only 11 hours after I left the house. I felt Leia pushing down more and more through the birth canal. I was ready to push this little lady out. The nurse had me do two pushes, but suddenly had me stop because she was going to come out and the doctor wasn't there yet. I had to stop pushing during the contractions until the doctor came, which I feel was very unnatural. She was ready. The doctor arrived and prepped for delivery. My mom was on one side holding my leg and my husband was on the other. By this time the epidural started wearing off and I felt when I needed to push. I was surprised how naturally everything came to me. It was like I was made to do this. This was me getting ready to do what my body was made to do. It was time to start pushing again. I really wish my husband video taped it because I was super curious about what was going on down there. It took about twenty minutes for her to arrive. The craziest part for me was when I did my last push and the doctor pulled her out. It felt unreal. Right when they pulled her out I was being impatient for them to give her to me. They placed her on my chest and I was surprised that she wasn't crying much. One, because that's what you see in the movies, two, because she's a big cry baby now. I only got  few minutes with her until the nurses and doctor took her away. I couldn't see what was going on and I was asking my husband 100 questions about what they were doing. I wanted my hour of skin-on-skin time! He said they wanted to monitor her. Why did they want to monitor her?! Supposedly the doctor was worried because she didn't cry much when she was born so they put her on oxygen and were keeping an eye on her oxygenation levels. So the day that was supposed to be the happiest of my life turned to non-stop worrying. I never got my hour of skin-on-skin with her like the hospital promises. When I finally got her back I only had her for about 20 minutes. Just enough time to breastfeed her for the very first time, which was amazing! It was so amazing seeing this beautiful creature just know how to eat from me. It truly is one of the best feelings in the world. It was painful at first, but I eventually got past it and now it feels good because it releases oxytocin. After our 20 minutes together they took her to another room to hook her up to their machines. This was unbelievably heartbreaking to watch my newborn go through. They couldn't find her veins and were causing her to bleed putting needles in. Anytime we wanted to be with her we had to visit her. I envied the parents who I heard in the next room over with their baby with them. So my husband and I would go back and forth constantly. I didn't want to have any visitors. She was hooked up to so many tubes it was hard to hold her without tangling her. On one occasion my husband left the room where we were visiting her. I felt something wrong. My husband is a very strong man and not very sensitive, but that day I saw a side to him I never knew. I went to find him in our room and found him broke down in a chair crying. After talking to him I realized with everything that was going on he hadn't had a moment with Leia. I took him back to her and had him take off his shirt so they could have skin-on-skin bonding. For the rest of the night we went back and forth to visit her and to have her eat. Her oxygenation levels were not where they wanted them, so they told us they would need to transfer her to their main hospital where they had a NICU. One of the things that pisses me off the most was that when the transporters arrived, they monitored her and said she was breathing on her own and her oxygenation levels were fine, but that they still had to monitor her for 48 hours!!!! The worst part...I couldn't go. They wouldn't discharge me until the morning. I was also planning on breastfeeding but how was I supposed to without her?! I started pumping every couple hours and saved the milk to give to her manually. The NICU was going to start giving her formula. All my plans felt like they were crumbling. That was the hardest day of mine and my husband's life. We didn't know what was going to happen or what to expect. That was my first night without Leia in nine months. I woke up that morning to breakfast that was brought in. Right when I started to eat I instantly felt her presence missing and uncontrollably started crying. I was released soon and we headed to the main hospital. We were running around everywhere and I was still in pain from pushing a baby out the day before! One of the things I was looking forward to after Leia was born was the chocolate covered strawberries and champagne the hospital promised to celebrate her birth. That day we didn't celebrate because the doctors caused us to think our newborn's life was in danger. We couldn't wait to see Leia again...