I was technically in another relationship at the time. We had been dating for two years and I lived with his family. I'll tell you later why I do not recommend that. I say technically because I did have "the breakup" talk with him, but I was still living there. I hadn't made it official. He knew how I felt towards him and I think he was starting to realize our ending was becoming real. The only reason I didn't move out right away was because I had no place to go and needed to find a place I could afford, which wasn't much at the time. It was the weekend before Halloween and we had plans to meet up with some friends down town. We didn't realize we needed a costume until the last minute, so we got a few things from CVS. I wore a tiny witch hat with red lipstick and called myself The Modern Day Witch. He found a rockstar wig.
We met up with our friend in downtown Temecula. He brought some friends of his own that I didn't know. One of them was dressed as Johnny Depp's Captain Jack Sparrow. It was a pretty cool costume, very well done, but I was never one of those girls to be tripping over Johnny Depp..haha. The drinks started kicking in as I started drinking from his and asked about his tattoos. Very cliche. We went to the next place and we were all having a great time. The man I was with was sitting the whole time, but I wanted to dance so I was on the dance floor. Earlier that night I thought Johnny Depp was dating one of the girls there, but when her boyfriend showed up I made a joke and said to him, "I thought you were with her." He then said, " No, You are the cutest thing I have ever seen!" I was embarrassed and didn't know what to say. We basically ran off from eachother at that point. Everyone had a great time that night. I even jumped on the hood of a car! It wasn't moving, don't worry. At the end of the night he told me to find him on Facebook. Once again, not very original. The next day I befriended everyone I hung out with that night. It took forever to find Johnny Depp, especially since I wasn't sure what his real name was or even what he looked like. He was wearing a wig and makeup. I eventually did find him and started chatting. I told him we could only be friends right now because I was currently trying to get out of a relationship, but had no place to stay yet. He respected that, which made me very impressed. We decided to hang out on Halloween and pass out candy.
On Halloween I went to hang out with him, but I was super nervous so I wasn't acting myself. I found out he was 37 years old and was shocked! He looked my age, which was 23 at the time. He brought out Adult Chocolate milk for me to drink. He read somewhere that I loved it! Our first hang out ended and I was filled with guilt. I was living with a man and his family, but I was starting to like someone new. Just the desire alone made me feel like I was cheating. I went home that night and crawled into bed with the man I was still technically with.
I finally found out who Johnny Depp was, but for the sake of identity I will continue to refer to him as that. I hung out with Johnny Depp again. I kept telling myself I need to find a place to live, I need to find a place to live. I knew my heart was far from the relationship I was in. The next night Johnny Depp and I hung out was amazing! I knew I was falling hard for him and WAY too fast, but I couldn't control it! We listened to music and danced in his living room. We would get closer and closer to eachother, sending my heart pounding in an uproar. I was trying to act as though I felt nothing, but he pursued my gaze. He brought me close. I was mentally trying to resist but my heart was reaching out! I gave in as he kissed me. Basically, I said "screw it" in my head. You only live once and I'm not letting this moment pass! That was by the far the most powerful kiss I have ever had. I'm pretty sure I saw fireworks that night. When he was done he said to me,"Do you want to get married and have a thousand kids?" Even if he was joking I still said yes. I knew I wanted to be with him. That night when I left I called the man I was still in a relationship with and told him even if I was living there it was over and that I would move out as soon as I could. I moved out the very next day to stay with Johnny Depp until I found a room rental. Now, regardless of my past I do not recommend living with any man unless you are at least engaged because it makes relationships very complicated. Because I was living with my ex-boyfriend and his family, it was much more difficult to end the relationship. As I was moving my things out, his dad pulled into the driveway and saw me packing. We both teared up. I was extremely close to his parents, which is what made the break up so difficult. They were the stability I never had and took me in as there own. I will forver cherish the times I had with them.
I pulled away as I saw tears in my ex's eyes. I hate breakups, even if I'm the one doing the breakup. I took everything that wouldn't fit in my car to the Salvation Army. I could only keep the essentials because all my things were going to stay in there until I found a more permanent place. Johnny and I continued to see eachother. We kept our relationship a secret and waited for time to pass. As time passed Johnny had many doubts about us and tried pushing me away many times. I eventually found a room to rent, so I would no longer occupy his space. I started getting tired of his wishy washy mindset about me and vowed to never speak to him again. That lasted three days and is the longest amount of time we have spent apart. I couldn't get this guy out of my head. It was ridiculous. I even prayed for him to leave my thoughts. I finally gave in and contacted him again. We started seeing eachother all the time again. He still had his doubts though. He would only let me so close. He planned a trip to visit his father and before he left ended things with me yet again.
The next morning after the breakup I realized I forgot my hair straightener at his place. I needed to get it back. He shouldv'e been gone so I went over to pick it up, but he hadn't left yet...awkward. I told him to throw away anything else he found of mine and left to work. I needed to make a quick stop first for food though. I got my delicious buffalo chicken tenders and was eating them as I drove. I was also talking on the phone. I bet you can see where this is going. I lost control and hit the center divider! The minute I was able to pull over I broke down in tears, but I wasn't crying because of the accident. All my tears were the tears I didn't cry after every breakup and having to find places to live and feeling alone. The only person I knew close enough was Johnny Depp. He knew cars too, so even though he just broke up with me, I called him. I didn't know what to do or if my car was ok. He came to meet me as it started to rain.
The minute he arrived I started crying again and he ran into my arms, calling me "Sweetface", which was his nickname for me. He said my car was damaged, but drivable...yay! We sat in the car and talked about us. He finally told me why he had been pushing me away. He was afraid to get close to me. We kissed and it was like nothing happened. I believe to this day that if it were not for that accident, that we might not be together. He went on his trip to see his father and we continued to keep in touch. From that day forward he never broke things off again, but he didn't gain complete confidence in us for some more months. He had many walls up that I had to break down one at a time.
We did many things together, including camping trips. On the most memorable one was when he caught our mattress on fire and it deflated. No biggy. The next night he set our entire tent on fire and we had to sleep in the truck. He loves blowing things up but he took it to another level. He put a five gallon gas can on the fire! It blew up sideways and demolished our tent and everything in it! No biggy. Later, when everyone went on a night ride, we stayed back. He took me on his quad for a little ride and brought two beers. He stopped, got off the quad and knelt down on the ground in the dirt, asking for my hand in marriage. I couldn't believe it! I didn't believe it! It had been less then five months. I kept asking if he was serious and he was. I never even answered because I thought he might be joking. He eventually reminded me that I didn't answer. I said yes of course. The rest of the night we pretty much ignored the other campers because we were so excited we were going to be together forever.
The rest is history from there. Within a year of our marriage I became pregnant with Leia. Everyday we build upon our adventures together. I would like to say it's my happily ever after. That doesn't mean it's perfect; it means my dream came true. Sometimes we have unbelievably hard times and fight just like everyone else, but in the end we forgive eachother and continue on. I really believe the key to having a long marriage is to follow these simple words:
"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. 5 It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. 6 Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. 7 It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres."
If only I could be perfect in this, I could love perfectly. I will always strive to follow these words, even if I mess up. Marriage is a journey, not a destination. There is never an end to a love story, so I will not conclude mine.
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