Learning to Love My Post-Pregnancy Body

Becoming pregnant and having a beautiful baby girl has changed me forever, especially physically. My pre-baby self was fit and slim weighing in at 135lbs. I had the time and energy to pour care into myself. Now my number one priority has become my beautiful baby girl. I have lacked sleep for six months now and have started developing health issues. My energy is the lowest it has ever been and I suffer from constant fatigue. I don't have the energy to keep up with the status quo. I tried in the beginning to stay fit, but after the first month and a half, I didn't lose any more weight and have completely stabilized. Partially due to an inactive thyroid. I now weigh 156lbs six months after giving birth.

The question I am faced with everyday is the choice to choose her or me? I choose her every time. I choose to breastfeed her every time she calls on me instead of letting her cry herself to sleep. I choose to spend my time holding and comforting her instead of leaving her to workout. I choose to pour my heart and soul into the little one that has changed me forever. She is the extension of my soul and the only way I will live on. She is the footprint I will leave on this planet.

For months I have struggled with how to love and accept my new body. Every day when I look in the mirror I see something completely different than I used to see. When I look at old pictures, it doesn't even seem like I am the same person anymore. I have transformed. Being fit and thin is awesome, but it won't last forever. Outward beauty only lasts so long. If that's all you rely on then you have placed your bets on something fleeting that will inevitably end. To give to others and to love has proven to be the only thing that lasts forever. That is why I have chosen to pour my heart into my child and family. They will remember my love and legacy, not how fit and thin I was.

That doesn't mean I am not going to take care of myself or let myself become overweight. But I am also not going to wear myself out getting fit when I need that energy to care for my infant. I will do my best to be healthy so that I can live each day to its fullest and be able to keep up with my family. To continue our adventures together. To be healthy is the new sexy.

PostBaby

PreBaby