Forgiveness: Easier Said Than Done

When I was 15 years old I started praying. I had a lot to pray about considering my family had fallen apart and I had to start over with my mother who I hadn't seen in six years. Back then I prayed everyday for my dad and his wife. I prayed for my stepsister who I had left behind. I prayed that one day they would be healed of all hurt and one day there would be reconciliation. I believe in God like I believe in the wind. I may not see the wind, but I see how it affects everything around it. I can see the wind rustle through the trees and feel it blow my hair against me cheek. God is always there and always working, even if we do not see it. It may take years for prayers to be answered but they are never forgotten.


Over ten years ago I prayed for reconciliation for my family.  Over the years my father has started talking to me more and more. I have never been content with it. I have always wanted us to grow closer to be what we once were as a family. It has been difficult though. I am sure he must have been hurt when I left for good and started living with my mother. I am sure he was hurt by all the rumors that were spread about my disappearance. The last couple years I have started talking to him and seeing him a couple times a year. This is huge improvement. I was even separated from my younger brother for a few years and that was mended as well.

I can only understand the position my father must have been in, torn between his wife who he made a commitment to for life and his own children. I talk a lot about forgiveness like it is something easy to do, but when the opportunity comes will I really be able to forgive? Will I ever be able to forgive Poison for things that happened over ten years ago? Yes, their were horrible things done, but there were also some good times. When family wrongs you what do you do? I preach about how family should always be there no matter what, but can I follow my own words? To forgive as Christ forgives is a miracle. It truly is. Think about someone close to you abusing you or hurting you beyond measure and one day that person comes to you and asks for forgiveness. What would you do?

I think I have wronged many in my day, whether I meant to or not. If I ever want forgiveness for my wrongdoings I must learn to forgive others as well and not just talk about it.
There is a story that comes to mind. Peter, one of Jesus' disciples, asks Jesus how many times he should forgive his brother. Peter knowing the nature of man and how often he betrays another. He was probably hoping for a number, like after 10 times and then you no longer need to offer forgiveness. But he didn't.

"Then Peter came up and said to him, 'Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?' Jesus said to him, 'I do not say to you seven times, but seventy times seven (Matthew 18:21-35 )."

This tells me that forgiveness should be given whenever it is needed. If I ever want to see those around me healed and reunited, I must learn to forgive those who have hurt me the most, not knowing if they will do it again.
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